There are several ways to forgive. However, the the first thing to keep in mind is to be the type of person who doesn’t go through life looking for those who are doing you wrong. There are people who constantly walk around feeling they don’t get a fair shake and that they are always being cheated in some way. Frequently these are people who have been raised with a sense of entitlement and feel that everyone owes them something. They have an overactive feeling of being gyped. These people live with a curse so if that is you, an attitude change would be your first step. Don’t live looking for someone you need to forgive.
When you go through life with a smile and expect to be happy. Research shows that smiling makes you happy. When you’re happy, you smile, and what is totally cool is that the opposite is true. When you put your face in a smiling position, you get happy. Why is this? It is because your body and emotions are connected. Amazingly, it was recently revealed that when people have Botox shots to eliminate their frown lines, they become happier. Not just because they don’t have face lines, but because your emotions respond to your body language and facial expressions
So, how do you forgive? Not a person on earth is free from being hurt so every person is confronted with this problem.
First step: When someone has done you wrong, before you can forgive, you must stop reliving it and going over and over it, again and again, in your mind. As long as you do this you haven’t made up your mind to forgive.
Step two: Here is where you get to make a choice. How you forgive a person depends how the other person is responding to what they did to harm you.
If the person has given you a sincere apology and is truly sorry, You must TOTALLY FORGIVE the person. In fact you are obligated to do this. When you totally forgive someone, you restore the relationship the way it was before and everything is as it was between you. This is also appropriate to totally forgive when someone has done something accidentally and is truly sorry by taking responsibility for what they have done.
If the person has not said they are sorry, does not take responsibility for their actions or blames their actions on something you did, then you cannot trust them again. If this is the case and you want to maintain the relationship, then forgive them but realize that things aren’t the same as they were before because you have a little suspicion about trusting them. Still, you can forgive them while holding the suspicion and realizing that things aren’t the same as they were before. You are wiser now.
You may have the fantasy that you are getting back at the other person when you don’t forgive them, but you are only hurting yourself because all good things are attracted to you through love and high vibrations.
If the person isn’t sorry, you definitely don’t maintain the relationship but forgive the person and let it go because of what it is going to do to you if you don’t. You release it even though you realize they hurt you and that things will never be the same between you. You fully acknowledge they did were bad and that the slate is not wiped clean. This could be a situation where a child was abused by a parent.
So -you choose:
- Forgive and forget-keeps the relationship
- Forgive but not forget-keeps the relationship even though you are wiser
- Forgive and release the relationship.
Now you have choices, and remember, forgiveness is a gift you GIVE YOURSELF.